Tom likes to buy me flowers. Right now I hear the sighs of women and the words, “That’s so sweet.” It is sweet. I like it when he buys me little things like that very spontaneously. The thing is though that I don’t really like flowers. They’re nice but they just drop their petals all over my table and eventually die. They can be rather pricey too depending on what kind of flower Tom has decided to buy for me. Now I am not trying to discourage Tom’s generous expression of love, and I most certainly am not complaining. However, I have often told him there is a win, win in this scenario for us. He can still express his love for me, save himself a few dollars, and give me something that I will be able to love, enjoy, and hold onto for many months and quite possibly years. The answer…buy me a donut.
I love donuts. Whoever invented donuts is my hero. I don’t know who you are. I do know that you are long dead, but you are my hero. Specifically whoever invented the chocolate nutty donut, well you are the hero of heroes. All hail the chocolate nutty donut inventor.
I have often thought that if I could go back and re-do my wedding there is one thing I would change. Instead of having a traditional wedding cake, I would have had a tower of donuts. I would have had all varieties too so that my guests could choose the donut that was most desirable to them. I can picture it in my mind, and it is a glorious sight. Chocolate nutty, glazed, powdered, sprinkles, jelly filled, long johns, bear claws, oh it is just too glorious. Deep regrets. Note to self, when daughters get married strongly encourage this tower of donuts rather then a traditional cake. Hey my mom pushed the harpist on me, I can push the donuts on them. I don’t think this will be a hard sell on Hailey as she seems to have inherited my love of donuts. Anyway, I digress.
I have seriously told Tom that it is ok if he wants to buy me a donut rather then flowers. He hasn’t taken me up on this offer yet. I don’t know why. I explain all the benefits. The donut is cheaper. He will save a lot of money by just buying one donut. I have also explained that if he feels like he needs to spend more money on me, he is more then welcome to buy me a dozen donuts rather then a dozen flowers. See how that works? Nice right? I have also explained to him that the flowers they just die, but a chocolate nutty donut will stay on my hips for months. There is more longevity in a gift of donuts vs. flowers. And if we go with a dozen donuts well then we are talking quite possibly a gift that could stay with me for years! Does it get any better?
A similar discussion usually comes up around Valentines Day. Tom does not like to buy jewelry. He considers it to be a waste of money. Right now I hear sighs of women and, “Ahhh.” No, no don’t feel bad for me. I somewhat agree but we won’t let Tom know that. So when Valentines Day roles around the inevitable statement comes up, “I don’t know what to get you for Valentines Day.” You may be thinking that I respond by saying donuts. No, that’s for those spontaneous gift moments. Keep up people! This is Valentines Day. The answer…..a heart shaped box of chocolates.
I love those pretty red boxes filled with a variety of delectable chocolate goodness. These precious packages of love are only available one time a year so Tom should seize the moment and grab that big red box with a tacky red velvet bow and fake flower wrapped in cellophane with a giant gold tag proudly displaying $9.99 across the front. Yes, grab that box and race home to me with it.
I have a system with these seasonal boxes of delight. I take a bite out of each and every chocolate in the box and then put the chocolate back in the box. Why? Two reasons. First, I am guaranteed that no one else will dip their little fingers into my treasure box. Who wants a chocolate that someone else has already slobbered on? Hey, with children in the house, you have to do what you have to do. A person is allowed to be selfish every now and then and not share. Again, it’s Valentines Day. It is a holiday. Second reason is that I get twice the delight out of the gift. I can delight in my first round of bites and then on my second pass through the box, I feel the love again.
Tom usually goes with something a little more extravagant for Valentines Day. What can I say, he’s a keeper. I’m just putting it out there that I personally would be completely happy with donuts rather than flowers and a box of chocolates on Valentines Day rather than….well come on I would be just plain stupid if I said jewelry. If he really wants to buy the jewelry, I’ll take it and go buy my own box of chocolates. Only I will wait until the day after Valentines Day when they are 50% off. Mom didn’t raise a dummy.
Donuts and chocolates are gifts that I can deliciously enjoy and keep on my hips for a long time. The way I see it, for the past 13 years I have been cooking dinners for my Tom out of love. And he has eaten those meals and appreciated all the love that has gone into making them. Slowly over the course of the past 13 years, he has held on to a small portion of those meals right in his stomach. So he collects my love in his stomach, and I’ll collect his love on my hips. It’s a match made in heaven.
I love donuts. Whoever invented donuts is my hero. I don’t know who you are. I do know that you are long dead, but you are my hero. Specifically whoever invented the chocolate nutty donut, well you are the hero of heroes. All hail the chocolate nutty donut inventor.
I have often thought that if I could go back and re-do my wedding there is one thing I would change. Instead of having a traditional wedding cake, I would have had a tower of donuts. I would have had all varieties too so that my guests could choose the donut that was most desirable to them. I can picture it in my mind, and it is a glorious sight. Chocolate nutty, glazed, powdered, sprinkles, jelly filled, long johns, bear claws, oh it is just too glorious. Deep regrets. Note to self, when daughters get married strongly encourage this tower of donuts rather then a traditional cake. Hey my mom pushed the harpist on me, I can push the donuts on them. I don’t think this will be a hard sell on Hailey as she seems to have inherited my love of donuts. Anyway, I digress.
I have seriously told Tom that it is ok if he wants to buy me a donut rather then flowers. He hasn’t taken me up on this offer yet. I don’t know why. I explain all the benefits. The donut is cheaper. He will save a lot of money by just buying one donut. I have also explained that if he feels like he needs to spend more money on me, he is more then welcome to buy me a dozen donuts rather then a dozen flowers. See how that works? Nice right? I have also explained to him that the flowers they just die, but a chocolate nutty donut will stay on my hips for months. There is more longevity in a gift of donuts vs. flowers. And if we go with a dozen donuts well then we are talking quite possibly a gift that could stay with me for years! Does it get any better?
A similar discussion usually comes up around Valentines Day. Tom does not like to buy jewelry. He considers it to be a waste of money. Right now I hear sighs of women and, “Ahhh.” No, no don’t feel bad for me. I somewhat agree but we won’t let Tom know that. So when Valentines Day roles around the inevitable statement comes up, “I don’t know what to get you for Valentines Day.” You may be thinking that I respond by saying donuts. No, that’s for those spontaneous gift moments. Keep up people! This is Valentines Day. The answer…..a heart shaped box of chocolates.
I love those pretty red boxes filled with a variety of delectable chocolate goodness. These precious packages of love are only available one time a year so Tom should seize the moment and grab that big red box with a tacky red velvet bow and fake flower wrapped in cellophane with a giant gold tag proudly displaying $9.99 across the front. Yes, grab that box and race home to me with it.
I have a system with these seasonal boxes of delight. I take a bite out of each and every chocolate in the box and then put the chocolate back in the box. Why? Two reasons. First, I am guaranteed that no one else will dip their little fingers into my treasure box. Who wants a chocolate that someone else has already slobbered on? Hey, with children in the house, you have to do what you have to do. A person is allowed to be selfish every now and then and not share. Again, it’s Valentines Day. It is a holiday. Second reason is that I get twice the delight out of the gift. I can delight in my first round of bites and then on my second pass through the box, I feel the love again.
Tom usually goes with something a little more extravagant for Valentines Day. What can I say, he’s a keeper. I’m just putting it out there that I personally would be completely happy with donuts rather than flowers and a box of chocolates on Valentines Day rather than….well come on I would be just plain stupid if I said jewelry. If he really wants to buy the jewelry, I’ll take it and go buy my own box of chocolates. Only I will wait until the day after Valentines Day when they are 50% off. Mom didn’t raise a dummy.
Donuts and chocolates are gifts that I can deliciously enjoy and keep on my hips for a long time. The way I see it, for the past 13 years I have been cooking dinners for my Tom out of love. And he has eaten those meals and appreciated all the love that has gone into making them. Slowly over the course of the past 13 years, he has held on to a small portion of those meals right in his stomach. So he collects my love in his stomach, and I’ll collect his love on my hips. It’s a match made in heaven.
I once bought my wife a 1 pound chocolate heart. Not a box mind you - an anatomically-correct 1 pound chocolate heart - I had to scour the Intertubes for hours to find it! Would that meet your requirements - or does the creepiness outweigh the loving intentions?
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