Plumbing Plague

Tom and I seem to be plagued with plumbing problems. As I look back on all the houses we have lived in over the years there is only one that never gave us any plumbing problems. For the lucky people who are gifted in the area of home repair this is not a problem. However, I learned very early on in our marriage that Tom was not shall we say a “handyman”.

Our first traumatic experience was a couple years into our marriage. Megan had joined our family, and she was sound asleep in her room which happened to be right off our kitchen. I mentioned to Tom that the kitchen faucet was dripping and wouldn’t stop. Tom said this was no problem and he could fix it. He stepped right up to the sink and began twisting and turning the faucet with a wrench with an appearance of knowledge. I was just about to ask Tom if he thought he should turn the water off when, SPLASH. Old Faithful erupted in my kitchen. The water shot straight up from the faucet like it was coming out of a hydrant. Water was spraying all over the little kitchen. Tom yelled for me to go turn the water off. Ah, little late there Tom. I yelled that I didn’t know where the water shut off was located. Tom ran to take care of it while I felt the instinctual need to run over to the faucet and hold my hand over the nozzle which was jetting water all over the kitchen. In hindsight this seems really ridiculous because there was no stopping the water. It was coming out and all I was managing to do was redirect the spraying to all over me. After what seemed like forever, Tom got the water turned off. We surveyed the water damage which wasn’t too bad all things considered and set to work cleaning up the mess. Remarkably, Megan slept through all the excitement. My dad came over the next day and helped Tom fix the faucet. I’m not sure what we would have done all these years without my dad who has always been willing and able to help with minor home repairs. Let that be a lesson to single ladies, if you are not handy, and you’re not marrying a handy guy, then you better have a handy father.

We had another Old Faithful moment in our next house but this time I knew where the water shut off was located. It also helped that we were renting that house so it was the landlords problem and not Tom’s. Well, let’s be honest here it wasn’t my dad’s problem.

Two houses later we experienced our most costly plumbing problem to date. We were living in a two story home with a finished basement. The basement had an office, family room, toy area and bathroom. When we had visitors they would stay in the family room on the pull out sofa which enabled them to have their own bathroom. Hailey was now an active member of our family. My mom was visiting us one weekend. On Saturday night she went downstairs to get something from her luggage and yelled for Tom and I to come down right away. The carpet was soaked all over the bathroom and well into the family room. Roto Rooter was called first thing in the morning. As the snake started down the toilet, I remember feeling sick with fear. What if there was significant root damage? What if a drain tile was broken? “What if” are such scary and potentially costly words when it comes to plumbing mishaps. It wasn’t too long when I got my answer. What if it is a bunch of Polly Pockets sent on a swim down the toilet by a potty training 3 year old who loves to flush the toilet! Roto Rooter man wasn’t too surprised. He said he usually gets Lego’s. Fortunately it wasn’t a costly plumbing problem, but it was a costly repair from flooding problem. $10,000 later we had the family room and bathroom cleaned, repaired and user ready again, and Hailey received a strong lecture on exactly what is allowed down the toilet.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that 3 months into our next home the sump pump broke and slightly flooded that finished basement. We were lucky that time because we caught it early enough that the only real water soaking was in the storage area. Nevertheless it did require some clean up efforts and a minor headache.

It appears that we are destined to have plumbing issues no matter where we live. When we made our most recent move, we were cautioned against buying a house with a basement because there are flooding issues in this area. Our realtor downplayed the issues as any good realtor would and said that the flooding was only in certain areas and not where we happened to be looking. I told Tom that if a basement was going to flood, it would be our basement, and it would be when he is out of town. No basement…not taking any chances. So we bought a house that does not have a basement. We moved into the house in December. The day after we moved in, the area experienced some of the coldest temperatures ever. I put a load of laundry in the washing machine. When I went to take the laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer, I was greeted with standing water all over my laundry room. The pipes had frozen. There is just no getting around it. We are cursed. But we are also becoming very skilled in flood clean up. It makes me curious as to what will be our plight in the next house. Toilet? Sink? Shower? Who knows. One thing I am certain of is that odds are there will be a plumbing problem.